Love and Despair
by browneyedcat
Summary: ...\\.Chapter 3 up.//...Tragedy strikes one of the students at Hogwarts. How will everyone cope? Better yet... who does it happen to? H/D and Hr/R please Read&Review!!
1. Rememberance

This is my first real fic. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
Flames welcome... they keep me warm and I can toast my marshmallows on them too! Mhm... smores...  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters and am not making any money off of them. So don't sue me! But if by chance you do happen to sue me... I'll get a better lawyer and find some stupid reason to sue you back and get all your money ^_^  
  
This chapter sets an opening for things to follow. The tragedy will happen in Chapter 4. give your guesses on who it's gonna happen too!!  
  
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Love and Despair- Chapter one  
  
"You're crap!"  
  
"No you're crap!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Grow up!"  
  
"I can't take this." Harry Potter stood up and started to leave the potions dungeon room.  
  
"Mr. Potter! If you don't come back, I will give you two more detentions and you will have to make this one up!" Professor Snape roared out the door.  
  
"I don't care! At least Malfoy won't be there!" Harry walked out the doorframe and stalked up the stairs. He mumbled the password 'tonky honk' to the fat lady and ran up the stairs to his dorm. He was happy to find that no one was in the room and wanted to make sure it stayed that way. Lifting his wand and pointed it to the doorknob he quickly whispered a charm that would keep the door locked.  
  
Harry drew his knees to his chest and stared at the ground. He hated how Draco treated him in the presence of other people. Sure, no one was supposed to know about their relationship but he didn't have to drag it to an extreme and start yelling at him. And why did he have to treat him like crap all the time?  
  
Harry extracted a sigh and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. He and Draco had been together for about two months now. They still hadn't told anybody. Harry hadn't even told Hermione and Ron. He wanted to very badly but Draco didn't want the risk of Ron telling other people and it have getting back to his father. He started to recall when and where their relationship had started and how it started to progress.  
  
~~~  
  
McGonagall was sick and tired of their constant name calling and fighting. So she put them to work together cleaning the trophies. They had been horrible to each other for the first hour, but after a while they started to talk about their home life for some odd reason. Harry had no idea what made him talk to Draco about the Dursly's or why Draco had told him about his father. But they did and that was the only thing that mattered. The next thing Harry knew, he was putting away one of the trophies and turned around. In an instant he felt Draco's lips on his own. He had been startled at first but then sank into the warm kiss.  
  
After that they found reasons to be near each other. They had both found a broom closet and would have long talks and snog. They usually talked about their childhood but more recently their friends. Draco would've liked to get to know Hermione and Ron better but he couldn't risk them telling anyone.  
  
Harry found it hard to get used to not call him Malfoy anymore. The bitterness they used to share was hard to get rid of but eventually it ceased to exist.  
  
Draco was scared for his life that his father wouldn't approve. He knew his mom wouldn't give a damn but his father didn't like anything to do with gay people. Maybe even if he accepted Draco being gay, he would never accept him dating the boy-who-lived.  
  
Even through the sneaking around they still managed to stay together for about two months now  
  
~~~  
  
Harry stood up and walked to the window. He just stared out of it and contemplated telling Ron about his new 'boyfriend'. He never told Ron he was bisexual cause he thought it would make Ron feel weird around him but this would probably hit him in the stomach a little more. He was just starting to zone out when he heard the doorknob rattling and then a hesitant knock on the door.  
  
"Harry!" Draco half hissed whispered "Let me in! I think I heard someone in the common room!"  
  
Harry paused a moment, thinking about keeping Draco out there before he stuck his wand to the doorknob and mumbled the counter charm. He wasn't supposed to be giving out the password to anyone and knew he would be in trouble if Draco was to be found out there.  
  
Draco had obviously been leaning against the door with his hand on the knob because when it opened he fell and sprawled on the floor. "Ow... that hurts." Draco got on his knees and pulled himself up with the help of Seamus's bedstead. "So yea... hey." Draco smiled at Harry tentivly.  
  
"Hey." Harry replied, his eyes still staring out the window.  
  
"Listen Harry..." Draco took a step forward. "I'm sorry about Potions... but you know that I can't have anyone know about us! It would get back to my father and I don't know how he would react if someone told him I was going out with the boy who he wants to kill."  
  
"I know, but that still doesn't mean you can provoke me into a fight and treat me like shit constantly!" He turned away from the window and looked to the boy before him. "If you don't want anybody to know, then don't talk to me when we are around other people. At least then I won't have to hear you treat me like shit and insult me."  
  
Draco looked down. "Ok I will, and I'm really sorry. I really am."  
  
Harry sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "Ok, ok, whatever. But please don't talk to me like that anymore."  
  
"Ok, I won't speak to you period when we are around other people. I'll pretend that you don't exist." The platinum blond walked over to Harry and stood in front of his sitting boyfriend. "But... if I pretend you don't exist... I can't do this..." Draco cupped Harry face and slowly brought his lips to Harry's.  
  
Harry stood up and wrapped his arms around Draco's torso. Opening his mouth invitingly he felt his boyfriend's tongue slide in and caress his tongue. Suddenly jolting, Harry gently pushed Draco away. "You know you can't just kiss me like that after you piss me off and expect me to forgive you just like that."  
  
"I know, I know but it helps." Draco smiled and spoke up again. "Hey listen... I just wanted to come by and apologize but I really need to get back to my common room. I need to talk to Crabbe and Goyle and people are probably gonna start filling this place up." Draco walked towards the door and turned back around. "Want to get together in our usual meeting place around 8:00PM?"  
  
"Sure. I'll see you then." Harry let go of Draco's hand and watched him walk out the door.  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye..."  
  
  
  
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A/N- Ok, That's it for now. How did you like it? Review!! This is my first *actual* fic and I hope it was up to par. It was also my first kiss scene. P.S... Sorry it was so damned fluffy  
  
3 Browneyedcat 


	2. A surprise in the closet

Here it is! The 2nd chapter, it's slightly longer than the first one and a lot better in the plot portion.  
  
Flames welcome. I get cold sometimes. *whimper*  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own them, I just rent them and then give them back to J.K. in one piece (for the most part hehe) Plus I don't make any money off them. So don't sue or I will find some twisted reason to sue you and get lots of phony witnesses and win an obscenely amount of money.  
  
A/N- I messed up in the last chapter. I didn't explain that they were in detention and then I confused my beta by making Draco say "Sorry about potions" To clarify they were both in detention but that is never gonna come up again lol. And I'm sorry about the html. I knew that you couldn't do those on ".doc" but I forget sometimes. please people, I'm only human. Oh yea. I like to write humor so although this is an angsty story. in the first few chapters I'm trying to keep it on the light side.  
  
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A slight muffling sound was to be heard behind the closed doors of the closet. Every-so-often a loud 'thud' could be heard as well. This of course would arouse anyone's curiosity, especially two hormone ridden teens looking for a place to snog.  
  
Harry looked up to his boyfriend, an eyebrow rose up. "Do you hear that?"  
  
"Yea. it sounds like someone is either getting laid or being killed."  
  
Harry smiled coyly before opening the door with his one free hand.  
  
"What the." Before the male in the closet finished his sentence, Harry had slammed the door shut, his eyes open in shock.  
  
"Did you see that?!" A confused Harry asked.  
  
"I think." Draco opened the door and gasped along with Harry and the two in the closet.  
  
"What's going on?" All four of them asked at the same time.  
  
A very red Ron glanced at Harry and Draco. well he looked at their held hands.  
  
"Are you two together?" They all said at the same time yet again.  
  
Hermione blushed profusely at Harry and glanced to Ron quickly. "Me and uh- Ron have been uh- together for about five months now." She quickly looked around the small closet for her robes.  
  
Ron glared at Draco and stood up, gathering the discarded robes. "Are you two together? Please say no. this is Malfoy for Gods' sake." He helped pull up Hermione of the floor and handed her robe to her, hastily putting on his own robe over his clothes.  
  
"The name is Draco. and me and Harry haven been together for two months on Friday." Harry looked to Draco and blushed. "Oh yea, and don't tell anyone about us. for the sake of Harry's well-being."  
  
"Sure! No problem!" Hermione chirped.  
  
" 'Mione! How can you sound so happy? It's MALFOY!" Ron nearly yelled, his face getting redder as the moments passed.  
  
Harry glared at Ron. "If you don't take that disgusted look off your face... I'll hit it off you. You were just snogging Hermione! Why didn't you tell me?!"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about Malfoy?"  
  
"Because I knew you would act like this!"  
  
"HARRY! RON! Let's stop comparing our penis sizes and talk about this! Ron, you know you saw this coming a mile away, Harry was always checking out Draco these last two months. Well. at least I saw it. and I was quite amused."  
  
"Aww you were checking me out?"  
  
"Shut up." Harry suddenly got uncomfortable around his friends and couldn't get his body in a comfortable standing position. "Ahem. So anyway, I'm happy for you Hermione. and Ron."  
  
"Thanks." They both said, one with a happy voice and the other with a sulky tone.  
  
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Twenty-five minutes later they were all seated on the small closet floor comfortably. Hermione had put a muting charm on the room and they were all talking about how they got together.  
  
". and I leaned over and kissed him." Draco said with a smile spread across his pale face instead of his usual smirk or scowl. His hand was caressing Harry's knee and he looked to him and smiled again.  
  
"AWW! How cute!" Hermione was genuinely happy for the couple and was glad that Ron wasn't in a totally pissed off mood anymore. "Me and Ron just attacked each other in the common room after we confessed our feelings."  
  
"I still can't believe I didn't see this coming." Harry said, shaking his head. "I am completely oblivious to everything."  
  
Hermione giggled and looked to her watch. "My Gods, look at the time! It's one hour after lights out!"  
  
All three 7th year men rolled their eyes as they stood up. "Jebus Hermione, don't you want to stay and snog?" Ron made a face at her.  
  
"Of course not! We have a difficult Potions class tomorrow and I want to be rested!"  
  
"Oh- I feel special."  
  
"You know I love you." She kissed him on the cheek and undid the muting charm. "We really have to go. Filch will have a fit if he sees us going to the dorms after lights out."  
  
"Yea, she's right. I better go. Bye Harry." Draco leaned over and kissed the raven-haired boy on the cheek before exiting the closet and heading to his own common room.  
  
"Let's hurry! I haven't lost any points for our house this year and I don't intend too." Hermione said as she stood up and brushed off her already clean robes.  
  
They walked in silence to their dorms and said bye to Hermione as she retreated to her room. Just as Harry was going to talk to Ron about the events of the day, a disgruntled Seamus flung himself up in bed and turned on the lights. "And where have you two been?" He asked both the boys, his sandy hair poking out every-which-way.  
  
"Oh. me and Ron are an item. we were making out in the closet."  
  
"WE WERE NOT!" Ron turned bright pink and stalked over to his bed. "I'm going to sleep now. leave me be." He climbed into the four-poster and drew the curtains around.  
  
"Haha, very funny. If you don't want to tell me. fine." Seamus laid back in bed and drew the curtains around him.  
  
Harry smiled to himself as he crawled into bed under the sheets. He didn't bother to change out of his robes as he drifted slowly to sleep.  
  
  
  
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Harry woke up to the sun shining in his emerald-green eyes. As he stirred beneath the coziness of the warm bed, his eyelids fluttered open to glance at the alarm.  
  
"Oh. it's only 5:00 AM." Harry muttered under his breath. He stirred again to get comfortable but remembered the Potions homework he had to finish. Grumbling about how much of a twit Snape was for giving them all the homework, he was finally able to sit upright. He groped for his glasses and blinked back to the clock once they were in place. "Oh shit!" Harry scrambled out of bed. He was 7:00 AM, not 5:00 AM; he hated how his eyes played tricks on him.  
  
He was supposed to have met Ron and Hermione in the common room at 6:30 like usual before they went to breakfast together. He quickly jumped out of bed and did the once over in the mirror, turning and grabbing what he needed for the day. Running out of the dorm and common room, he was able to run into the Great Hall, just as almost everyone was finishing up breakfast.  
  
"Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Ron said sarcastically.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and sat on the opposite side of them. He was surprised that he never saw it before. Ron and Hermione were all over each other. well not kissing but touching and leaning. and other things.  
  
"Uh- guys, don't give me cavities." Harry smirked at them as he munched on a strip of bacon. He quickly glanced to the object of his affection sitting at the Slytherin table. Harry melted into the blue-gray eyes that met his for a split second. Draco had quickly looked away of course, nothing was to be known about their relationship. But Harry kept staring at the boy who was talking to Blaise and cutting his sausage into bite size pieces. Draco was the only person Harry could think of who cut everything into equal parts.  
  
"Harry. Harry? HARRY! Can you hear me? Gods' 'Mione, he's hundreds of miles away." Ron grinned into his juice. "But it's still. weird. I mean, it's ok that he's g." he stuttered for a few seconds before he as able to say the word, ".gay but it's his arch nemesis!"  
  
"Ex arch nemesis." Hermione reminded him and she crunched into a piece of buttered toast. "See! I told you he was seeing someone! He's like this every morning, afternoon, and night. Although I thought it was Ginny for the longest time until I found out it was Neville she was sneaking around with."  
  
"I still don't see what she sees in that twit."  
  
"That twit is one of your good friends. Would you rather her go out with Crabbe or Goyle?"  
  
Ron mocked shuddered. "Good point. But still. he's such a dork."  
  
Hermione raised a brow at him. "And your not?"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Besides. Neville is sweet, nice, smarter than he was-"  
  
"Cause of you."  
  
"Well yes but still. he's gotten smarter over these last few years to show Snape up. Of course he still needs help. he's a walking superstition, he's also gotten cuter over the years."  
  
"Oh Hermione. do you fancy him?" Ron pretended to look threatened.  
  
"Oh yes. I want him so bad!" She rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "Honestly, you have the worst sense of humor I know." She wiped at her mouth with her napkin and placed it next to her plate. "I think potions starts in about 10 minutes. Maybe we should start going."  
  
Ron sighed and stacked his books on top of each other. "Oh goody. I can't wait for Snape to order us around for 2 hours."  
  
"Ron. he is a professor." She reminded him.  
  
"Does that mean anything to me?" he smirked at her and turned to Harry. "Hey! It's time to go."  
  
Harry didn't say anything; his eyes were still transfixed on the Slytherin table.  
  
"Harry! Can I borrow 5 galloens?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"And can I take your Firebolt and smash it into small pieces?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"And then can I.."  
  
"Oh Ron please do shut up."  
  
Ron chuckled to himself and swatted away Hermione's hand. "Don't hit me!" Ron turned back to Harry and moved his hand up and down in front of his friend's unblinking eyes. "Harry! We have to start going to potions! I heard Snape might come to class in fishnets."  
  
"Mhmm? That sounds lovely." Harry snapped out of his trance-like state and off handly gathered his books in his arm. "Oh yea. right. Let's go then."  
  
As they were walking Harry turned to Ron with a confused look on his face, "Did you say something about Snape in fishnets?"  
  
Laughter echoed through the hall.  
  
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Well there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. A bit more in the humor department but I promise it gets angsty. Now I have to go and finish typing up the 3rd chapter. bleh. I hate typing. and I hate fluff. this is fluff isn't it? Er. fluffy bad  
  
3 Browneyedcat 


	3. In the Potions Room

A/N- Here it is, the third chapter. I am so content.  
  
Disclaimer- Yadda yadda yadda, I don't own them but I wish I did. Especially Draco. Hrm. oh yea. But yea. I don't own don't sue cause if you do I'll slap a lawsuit on you somehow saying you attacked me in the streets and I'll have tons of phony witnesses, like my beta Michelle. hehe.  
  
Another note- I just noticed that all my "dot-dot-dot"'s after words to emphasize are showing up as periods. It looks like I don't know my grammar! Gods! I am so pissed. I am not going to change them cause I don't want to. I already typed up all my chapters and don't intend on making sure everything is in order. Fuck that. Now you can read (  
  
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Chapter three-  
  
"Snape is a fucking prick!" Harry mumbled to his friends. He was working with Dean Thomas at his table and Hermione and Ron were working at the table next to him. Snape had just taken ten points from Gryffindor for Harry looking at him funny.  
  
"Yea. he is, but what are you gonna do?" Hermione said and quickly added before Harry could respond, "Nothing, that's what. He's a professor. You could get expelled."  
  
"Whatever." Harry sighed. He picked up his tree root and chopped it up finely. He was trying his best not to look at Draco and was succeeding, for the time being that is.  
  
"Mr. Longbottom! How many times have I told you to measure your powdered toadstool precisely?" Snape sneered at his second least favorite student in the class. "We shall try yours first." Snape walked briskly to Draco's table. "Ah- see, now Mr. Malfoy has measured his powdered toadstool perfectly!" Snape gave what little smile he could manage and looked over at the next table. "Remember class, when this potion is done correctly it will make you shrink to about three inches of height once consumed."  
  
Neville looked over to Hermione and signed (in sign language) 'Am I doing this right?'  
  
Hermione signed back, 'Yea, Snape is just being a twit trying to mess with your head. Now just stir the potion three times.' Hermione had taught Neville sign language in her free time so she could help him along in potions. Snape had always managed to take away points when she helped him verbally so she figured signing would be safer. She knew that he was getting better at everything but he was just so nervous about everything.  
  
"MR. FINNIGAN! How could you possibly blow this up?" Snape roared to Seamus who had managed to blow up his tenth potion that year. "My Gods boy! You added three times the amount of fire dust!"  
  
"My eyebrows are gone!" He yelled, covering his eyes and bending over in agony. "I think some of my skin came off!"  
  
Harry met Draco's eyes over the commotion and nodded to him. Draco stood up and called out, "Professor! Can I go to the restroom?"  
  
"Yes. just be back in five minutes or less Mr. Malfoy." The occupied professor answered. He was trying to stop the potion from foaming over and shrinking everything in sight.  
  
As Draco left, Harry put down his spoon and told Hermione, "Hey, 'Mione, I'll be back." Harry quickly darted out of the room before she could say anything.  
  
"Ugh." She commented. "There is no reasoning with that boy." She sighed and picked up her wooden spoon, mixing her potion three times.  
  
"Miss Patil. can you please aid Mr. Finnigan to Madame Pomfrey? I think he needs bandages on his eyes." Snape ran a hand through his greasy hair and then wiped it on his robes. He mumbled "That boy." and the rest was inaudible.  
  
"Sure..." Parvati gently placed her hands on Seamus's back, guiding him out of the dungeon room.  
  
-Ten minutes later-  
  
"Very- uh good Mr. Longbottom. You did well for the first time in your miserable existence." Snape glared down at the three inch Neville who was jumping up and down for joy. "Well. onto Mr. Potter." Snape walked over to Harry's table only to find a very frightened, and alone, Dean Thomas. "Mr. Thomas, where is Mr. Potter?"  
  
"Um. in the bathroom?" Dean squeaked out.  
  
"Are you saying." Snape asked, ice in his voice, "That Mr. Potter left without informing me or even asking my permission?" Snape leaned forward on the table, his palms gripping the surface of the hard wood table.  
  
". I guess." Dean replied, backing away from the menacing teacher, his hands shaking as he ran into the table behind him.  
  
"I see." Snape turned to face the middle of the room, his wand raised and pointing to the floor. Mumbling under his breath could be heard, the spell ending with a distinct 'Potter.'  
  
-Pop!-  
  
In the middle of the room appeared Harry, but he was not alone. Right in the front of the room was Harry. kissing Draco. The two boys were obviously oblivious to the gasps and snickers in the room because they were still going at it.  
  
"MR. POTTER! MR. MALFOY! Please remove your lip from one another! AFFECTION ISN'T ALLOWED IN THIS ROOM!" Snape yelled to the men.  
  
Draco stopped kissing Harry, his arms still around the horrified boy's waist. "um. right then." Draco let go and walked over to his desk.  
  
"Ron covered his face and moaned into his hands. "I really, really didn't need to see that."  
  
Hermione smiled and giggled as she looked at Harry still in the front of the room.  
  
Harry stood in shock for about 10 seconds before he went to his desk and sat down. "So. um. about that powered toadstool."  
  
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"Did you hear about Potter and Malfoy?"  
  
"I heard they were kissing in the potions room."  
  
"Well I heard they were having sex!"  
  
"I heard Snape joined in!!"  
  
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!" the four girls moaned in unison.  
  
A very amused Hermione laughed at the girls' rumors. "I swear, gossip runs through these halls faster than the speed of light! We got out of potions not more than ten minutes ago!"  
  
"Well. that's what Hogwarts is all about. Who would want to learn when you can gossip? Ow!" Ron rubbed his arm. "Don't hit me!"  
  
"Well. don't be sarcastic you twit."  
  
"But I'm a cute twit hehe." Ron walked up the stairs along with his girlfriend. "I still think it's weird when they kiss. I never really saw two men kiss before."  
  
"I think it's sweet! Don't look at it as two men kissing, look at it as two people who deeply care for one another kissing." Hermione smiled to herself and looked over to Ron. "Ron. are you listening to me or am I just talking to air?"  
  
"Yea, yea. two people kissing. I still need to get used to the idea." They both stopped walking for a moment to see if any of the steps disappeared. The stairs liked to trick them and make a new one disappear every day instead of the same one.  
  
Once they skipped the step Hermione spoke up, "You know. I think we should celebrate tonight, we could sneak off campus and go to the Three Broomsticks or something." She looked over to Ron again. "Why are you shivering, you have layers on and it's not cold."  
  
"Sorry, I think hell just froze over. The great Hermione Granger wants to sneak out!" Ron laughed. "Hey! That hurt. I said stop hitting me!"  
  
"Then stop being a git!" Hermione sighed and kept walking. "So what do you think?"  
  
"I think ok if Harry and Mal-, sorry, Draco want to go." Ron said the password to the fat lady and stood aside to let Hermione go in first.  
  
"Aww! My Ron is such the gentleman! Ow! Don't hit me!"  
  
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A/N- *grumbles* There you have it, nice and *shudder* Fluffy. I can't wait to post of the next chapter! ANGST GALLORE! Until next time. this is your fanfiction writer signing out. Buh-Bye and watch for the next one! Sorry this one took so long to get out there.  
  
3 Browneyedcat 


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